Eleanor
One day, everything feels normal. Then, gradually, you start to notice changes in the person you love.
You try to help, but before you realise it, it’s too late. When dementia sets in, the person you knew begins to fade. The chance to talk about how they’d want to be cared for slips away, and suddenly, you’re left with unanswered questions and no way to ask them.
Soon, they become part of a system designed to keep them safe, but it often leaves you feeling helpless. The decisions you thought you’d be making together are now out of your hands, placed instead in the control of strangers who tell you what’s best for your mum or dad. It’s isolating and deeply painful.
I found myself in that position standing in the chaos of A&E while my mum waited 24 hours for care. She was unwell and needed comfort, and I just wanted to take her back to the care home. But I was told I couldn’t, because I didn’t have power of attorney. In that moment, I felt powerless, invisible, and heartbroken. I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone.
And the truth is, it only gets harder from there, until the day it ends. The day they pass away.
So if it’s as simple as making a phone call or sending an email do it. Ring Peter French. It’s better to face a bit of discomfort now than carry the weight of regret later. Take the pain away earlier, so that your mum or dad can still have their say. Don’t wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow will be too late.